Are you Real?
by Mr. Penutt
Summary: A sad story of a loved one lost, from the eyes of The Lover, The Family, and The Friends.  Each have their own way of copeing.  Some pull together, Some fall apart, and some just can't understand.
1. The Lover

Ok... I have no idea why I wrote this. I just started writing and this is what came out. Tryen to get the creative juices flowen again... I hope you like it though.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of the characters this story is based on. (Cough)

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Ch 1: The Lover 

I miss you, I won't lie. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of how you used to hold me. How you used to wrap me in your arms as we slept. How you used to tease me about my hair, and how you used to love me for it. Now, this bed that we once shared is cold, and empty without you. Just like me.

_"Tell me love... was I ever real?" _

Your shadow sits idly on the window sill. One foot dangling off the side kicking back and forth as a child's would, the other tucked back under your thigh. You stare thoughtfully out the window into the star filled night, a neat little crease in your brow, diligently pondering your own question.

"God I hope so." It's the only answer I have. I think you were real once. I have memories of a real life with you. But memories aren't real. Not really real. They're just pretend. They're just made up. Based on a true story, but in truth, so far from its base, that it no longer caries anything it once had.

_"I feel like I was real..." _

You look to me, smiling that smile. That smile reserved for me, and me alone. But it's not that smile anymore, diluted by the memory of other smiles. It's someone else's smile, not yours. I've forgotten your smile.

"I don't feel real." Nothing left of me but a hollowed out shell. Nothing is left. Not even the despair that once blackened my thoughts, and infected my soul. No lingering emotion, no deep seeded anguish, just a void, and a strangled feeling of cold reality. And even that is slipping away.

_"Close that window love. You'll catch a cold if you don't" _

You scold me, but it isn't you. It isn't your voice you use. That is lost to me, just like your smile. Just out of reach in my mind. It sounded like your voice, but nothing like it. Your voice was sweet and strong and caring. This voice had nothing of that.

"So what, I don't care." I roll over, turning my back to you. But it's not you. You're gone. You are dead, and gone. Almost I can feel you crawl in with me. Almost I can feel your warmth. Almost I can feel your hand brush across me cheek. Almost I can feel your breath on my ear as you whisper.

_"I love you..." _

But it's not your warmth, not your hand, and not your lips. You are gone from me, never to return. And took with you everything I love and everything that makes me happy in this world; I miss you, I long for you, I die with out you.

"Do you really?" I'm not sure if you ever did, anymore. I'm sure it was there before but no longer. I can't feel it anymore. Lost again to my frail human mind. I've forgotten your love.

I pull the blankets closer around me. My toes are numb from the cold air blowing in from the open window. I could close it, but why bother. It's not like it matters. This body doesn't matter anymore. I don't really care if it's uncomfortable.

Still your question plagues me. Were you ever real? Are my memories enough to make you real, even if they don't do you justice? Every story holds some resemblance of truth, no matter how diluted. You were real once. Real to me, and I really loved you.

"I love you..." I feel your embrace warming me, as I slip into my world were you are real, and I am real, and our love is real.

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Heh heh... any good? I'd sure like to know. And yes I realize that it doesn't name any names or anything like that but I was thinking digimon when I wrote it so there. Sorry if it's confusing. I'm really not completely sure what I was trying to say either. I guess it just follows along the lines of sometimes, the memories we hold dear just aren't enough, and sometimes we can't quite remember our loved ones long passed as well as we'd like. I hope you enjoyed this. Please R&R. Thanks. C'ya. 


	2. The Familly

Ok, I thought I was done with this story... I guess not. So here's chapter 2. I hope you guys like this one more... maybe then I'll get a review??? Please!!!

Also, I want you all to know that the ideas stated in Part 2: The Sibling, are in no way shape or form my own. They are just added for dramatic affect, so please don't hunt me down and hack my eyes out with a dull pizza cutter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or any of the characters described in this story.

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Ch 2: The Family

Part 1: The Parents

She slowly opened the door to their son's room. She'd heard a voice earlier, and went to go check it out. Hoping beyond all hope that perhaps it was some sick joke someone was playing. Perhaps that wasn't his body down at the morgue, they'd made a mistake and their son was still alive ready to spring out from the room laughing at their stupidity.

There was a lump on the bed, her hearts skipped. It couldn't be him, they said he was dead. His father had been there when he died. On approach she saw his hair. That wasn't her boy's hair. The lump rolled over slowly. It was his boyfriend lying in the bed instead. The blanket wrapped tightly around his slender frame. He must have snuck in through the window. At first she was angry. She wanted to wake the boy and slap his face off for making her believe her baby was still alive, but then saw the tears on his cheek and the sad smile on his face. He came here for comfort. Probably couldn't sleep.

He'd stayed by her baby's bed the entire time, holding his hand. It was sort of funny seeing the drastic difference in their skin tones. One hand so pale and slender, finger tips callused over from the guitar strings, while the other so bronzed with little light speckles from where he put his hand through their sliding glass door. She remembered it vividly. The tears in his eyes as he stood there, staring at her guiltily, hiding his hand behind his back. They'd tried to cover it up by closing the shades and sweeping the glass out onto the balcony, as if she wouldn't notice. They were so innocent back then.

He shivered in the cold, pulling the thin blanket tighter. Poor boy. He'd been so distraught, he hadn't even bothered to close the window. She couldn't blame him for coming here. This was the closest to his love he could get now. Who was she to tear away the only haven left to him. However, he could have at least closed the window. Reaching over she tugged the window down. She pulled one of the thicker blankets from the closet and put it over the sleeping boy. His mother would never forgive her if she'd left him shivering like that, no matter how upset she was. His mother would have done the same if it had been her son in his bed.

She crept from the room as quietly as she could, pulling the door closed silently behind her. His door. Her son's door. Her fingers reached up slowly tracing each letter of his name. He was too young to be taken from her. It wasn't fair. She stepped back still staring at the door. Her back touched the wall and she slowly slid down to the floor sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. She heard the clunking of boots as her son's father walked down the hallway. He knelt down, engulfing her shaking form in his embrace. The horror gripped them both as they sat crying in the middle of the hallway in front of their son's bedroom door. He was gone, he was really gone now, and nothing would bring him back to them. His brilliance, his light was gone from this world forever.

Part 2: The Sibling

I wander aimlessly down the sidewalk, kicking a coke can as I walk. I had to get out of there. I felt a little guilty about not telling my parents but last I saw they were both huddled over in the hallway crying. I didn't want to disturb them. Hope they don't get angry. Probably won't even notice I'm gone. All they care about is him. It was always about him.

I start walking faster despite my lack of direction. I don't know where I'm going but my feet do, and they seem very determined to take me there.

He was always their star. Their pride and joy. They'd always brag to their friends, always talk like 'My son the Super star...' I was always just an after thought to them. He was their pride and joy not me. A side-effect of some raunchy sexcapade. Probably just a night of drunken partying that lead to a killer headache in the morning. I'm a Tequila worm.

I walk faster now, bordering on a jog. Still don't know where I'm going, and honestly, I don't care.

Yeah well now what mom and dad? All you have left is me; your mistake, your disgrace. The best of you is dead, and all you have is me. Now what? I'm not him, couldn't be if I tried, not that I'd want to be. He was a fag after all. Filthy little butt pirate. Who would ever want to be like him? Filthy disgusting fairy.

Jogging now. My breath becomes choppy, and my eyes begin to sting a little. I forgot to blink. Stupid.

I never needed him. He was never important to me. He was just a queer, not my brother. The world is better off without him. I'm better off without him. He never really liked me anyway. I was just a burden to him. Some little pain in his ass he had to take care of. I hate him. I'm glad he's dead.

Now I'm running, running hard. Why? Where? Doesn't matter, just keep running. Run harder, run faster. Run till you can't breath, run till you legs hurt run till you can't run anymore.

Am I crying, no. I can't be crying. Why would I cry? I don't care about him, so why would I cry? It must be raining. Yeah rain, or sweat. I am running after all. Yeah that's right, I'm sweating. No matter it's from my eyes.

He's nothing to me. I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad my parents are sad. I'm glad his little fag boyfriend is sad. I'm glad I'm alone now I'm glad he's not around to boss me around anymore. He was always telling me what to do and who to talk to. Always looking over my shoulder.

I round the corner. Yeah through the park, that's normal. People run in the park all the time, right. No one will think twice about it. I run harder. My heart is pounding in my ears and my lungs burn from the exertion. Almost there. I don't know where but I'm almost there. I run faster, down the paved path winding around through the trees.

Then I see him. Ken is sitting at a park bench, watching the trees sway in the wind. I remember he told me once that this is where he went when things got too hard for him. I stumble over toward the bench. He notices, standing up holding his arms out. I collapse into his embrace sobbing unashamedly.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't..." I cry as he holds me. God I must sound like a babbling idiot to him, but that's all I can manage to say. I can't tell him all the horrible things I thought, I can barely gasp out those words between sobs. "I didn't... I didn't... mean it."

"I know..." He holds me tighter. "I know you love him. I know you didn't mean it."

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There you have it. Chapter 2. I really hope you liked this one. I know it's sad but tragedy's are as much a part of life as comedies or love stories or any others. They help us to appreciate our own lives a little more. So, please review. I really would like at least one. I plan on at least one more chapter about the other digidestined, and then the ending where all will be revealed, DUN DUN DUUUN!!! So stick with me. C'ya. 


	3. The Friend

Well, here's Chapter 3. I hope you like this. It's been siting here for a while, and I was gunna try and add a second part but it never flew. So here it is, enjoy. I COMMAND YOU!!!! Please.

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon or any of the characters.

Ch 3: The Friend

Daisuke yawned wide as his eye lids drooped. Checking his watch for the fiftieth time that night, he grunted. Three o'clock. He knew why he couldn't sleep, but it was still very strange. His friend was dead and yet he didn't feel sad. He didn't really feel much of anything actually. It bothered him. He was the original bearer of his crest for Christ-sakes, but still he felt nothing.

He reclined the chair back a little further, shifting in the process, as he set out to watch yet another rerun encore presentation of Mission Impossible. He'd change the channel but he couldn't find the remote. So he just left it. He didn't really understand the show but some of it was cool so he didn't mind watching. He wasn't really in the mood to understand it anyway. His father watched it all the time though.

Daisuke's parents had already left for the night, claiming they had a prior engagement that couldn't be missed. Though they told him to call if he needed anything. Daisuke just shrugged and said "K, have fun." He'd tried to convince Jun to go with them but with no luck. She'd passed out on the couch, watching TV with him. She'd insisted on it, despite his protests.

They'd approached him earlier to see how he was doing. See how he felt about the whole situation. He shrugged at this too. He really didn't know how he felt. It hadn't quite hit yet. So he just kept watching TV, and here he is still.

Deciding that Mission Impossible was way to boring the third time through he started digging around in the chair for the remote. They needed a beeper or lo-jack on that stupid thing… Maybe a string attached to end with a brightly colored flag… or a high powered magnet so they could just flip a switch, and it would come zooming out from where it was hiding… or a tinny camera so you could…

"HA!" He exclaimed, probably a little too loud. He turned around to see if Jun had woken. Luckily she just shifted positions, and grumbled a little. Davis breathed a sigh of relief. Last thing he wanted to deal with was a screaming big sister. He honestly didn't know how Yamato put up with girls like Jun.

It seemed any time the three of them went out anywhere, there was an entire flock of girls following them. Daisuke wouldn't have minded the sight so much if it weren't for the fact that they were all loud and obnoxious. Always oooing and awwwing over his friend, and furthermore, they know Yamato is gay. He holds Taichi's hand while they walk down the street. Yet they still follow him around, worshiping the ground he walked on.

Daisuke rub his temple around in circles. The mere thought of those girls gave him a headache anymore. He flipped threw the channels, watching each one just long enough to know what was going on before he flipped to the next. A few soap opera's, some infomercials and a made for TV movie latter, he made it to the TV guide Channel.

Watching the blue screen role slowly upward, he yawned again. Why was there never anything on? Why can't they put any good shows on late at night? All there seemed to be on is infomercials and chick-flicks. He flipped to the pay-per-view section, scrolling through the movies. More chick-flicks, chick-flicks, porn, porn, porn, scary, scary…

"HA…" he exclaimed again. This time not quite so loud, but still he needed to stop that. He pushed the ok button, scrolling threw the agreements and contracts, finally reaching his desired movie 300.

He'd wanted to see this movie for the longest time but for some odd reason, he never did. Waiting too long for circumstances to be right. It was almost impossible nowadays for all of them to get together. Even if they'd planned some huge event months in advance, somebody would undoubtedly be unable to make it due to so unforeseen catastrophe. It never failed.

Taichi and Yamato had gone out to see this movie the second day of its release. They stood in line for eight hours just to get tickets for a show the next day. Daisuke would have gone with but he had class. At least now he could actually understand their badgering over the movie. Taichi was, of course, interested in the historical value of the movie as well as the bloody battle scenes, where as Yamato just went to ogle all the shirtless boys. Then Taichi would get jealous and they'd go off on other topics, continuing their endless bickering. It was really kind of cute to watch even though it gave him a headache sometimes.

"THIS IS SPARTA!!!" Leonidas screamed as he kicked the messenger down into the bottomless pit.

"Definitely a Taichi movie." He chuckled to himself, wondering if Taichi acted the same way at that movie as he did the last time they'd all gone to a movie. Yamato and Daisuke, being the ones on either side of Taichi, tried their best to explain to Taichi that he couldn't cheer on the aliens every time they killed somebody, while the rest of their friends tried as best the could to keep everyone around him form jumping up and beating him senseless. Ahhhh, the good ol'days.

It hit him. It hit him hard and suddenly he hurt all over. His shoulders slumped, his lip began to shake, and his eyes began to water. He pulled his knees up and buried his face in them, muffling his crying, and trying to sate the pain. The good 'ol days were gone. They'd never get to be together again like they had before, and even if they did, it wouldn't be the same without him. He was gone. His friend was dead and he would never get to see him again.

Daisuke's mind skipped across all the things he'd never get to do with his friend again. He'd never get to listen to him bicker at the lunch table with his boyfriend, he'd never get to go to the movies with him, they'd never fight off rabid fan girls together, they'd never save the digiworld. His heart hurt, and his guts turned. He felt sick and weak and every other bad thing all at once, and he cried harder for his friend.

Daisuke felt a hand slide across his back. He looked up to see Jun smiling sadly down at him tears in her eyes too. She sank down next to him in the chair, and doing her sisterly best to comfort him. He practically jumped into her arms clutching onto her for dear life as he howled his anguish. She soothingly rubbed his back, and held him close, and for once, he was glad Jun was his sister.

There you go, a little sibling moment between Daisuke and Jun, because I know no matter how offten my big sister and I may fight, she'll always be there when I need her. (Sniffle) But anyway, What'cha think? A review would be a nice thing hint hint, nudge nudge, know-what-I-mean?


	4. The Funeral

Wow, that took a while didn't it, lol. Oh well, it's done now, all is revealed. Anyway, let's get through all the legal mumbo jumbo and get to the story shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of the characters this story is based on.

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Ch. 4: The Funeral

The funeral was held a few days later. Everyone was there. Strength in numbers if you believe in that sort of thing. Sora made a beautiful speech. Kari and Mimi tried to sing a song, but they never finished. It was too much for them. It was too much for any of them.

As for Tai, he stood alone. Tears ran unabashedly down from his swollen eyes. There was no strength for him. Only regret. So many things he should have done. So many words he didn't know how to say. But too late.

He watched his lover longingly as they slowly lowered the coffin into the ground. What he wouldn't give to hold him one last time, kiss him, tell him everything was going to be alright. But his hands couldn't hold him anymore. His lips couldn't kiss him. He was dead, and nothing would bring him back. A warm hand gripped his shoulder.

"It's time for us to go son." Tai nodded, and slowly turned away. His grandfather slipped an arm around him, leading him along.

"Papa, will he be ok?" Tai asked. Grandpa Yagami squeezed him tight.

"I don t know Tai. He's taking it pretty hard, but he's got some good friends that love him dearly. Hopefully that will help fill the void until he heals." Tai stopped suddenly, an idea just beginning to take form in the very back of his mind.

"Papa, can I do one last thing before we go?" His grandfather tapped his watch warningly but nodded. Tai ran back to his friends. The group had began to dissolve, all going their separate ways, but one still stood over the fresh grave as it slowly began to fill.

"Yama..." Tai whispered. "Please forgive me. It wasn't supposed to happen this way..." He brushed his hand across his lovers face. "We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to be happy forever. But things don t always work out the way we plan... Forgive me Yama. Please, don t give up. I ll always be with you..." Tai leaned forward, and kissed the love of his life one last time.

Matt fell to his knees as a strange warm sensation swept over him. He closed his eyes, and for the first time since the accident, he didn t feel so empty. He saw Tai standing there smiling. That special smile, just for him. A perfect smile. Tai waved goodbye as he walked slowly into the distance. Matts puffy dry eyes watered over and he began to cry.

Davis yelped as he felt something hard hit the back of his head. He turned sharply ready to punch someone out, but there was no one there. All he saw was Matt Hunched over by the grave shaking, and rocking back and forth. Davis walked back to where his friend grieved. He was crying, he had never seen Matt cry before. He nealed down next to the older boy, and without a word pulled him into a strong embrace. Together they rocked, and cried for their friend and lover until finally, there were no more tears to cry. Then, they slowly stood, and the older leaned heavily on the younger as they walked away from the cold grave.

"Heh, I m surprised that worked." Tai said tossing a rock into the air.

"So am I. I wish I d known about that when I d died. I would've stuck around a bit longer just to mess with you guys." Tai punched his grandfather playfully in the shoulder.

"Are you ready now son?" Grandpa Yagami asked.

"Yeah Papa, I think everything's going to be all right."

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Well, that's it folks. It took me a really long time I know but it's finally finished. I wonder if there's anyone left reading this story... huh. Oh well,I hope you enjoyed. C'ya


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